


Everything I lost

by Superkgirl



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, F/M, KaraMel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-08 04:54:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20316736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superkgirl/pseuds/Superkgirl
Summary: First was Krypton. Then Argo. Kara Zor-El has seen her home destroyed too many times. Having to take care of her son and way too much responsibilities, Kara will have to deal with a normal and human life on Earth, besides trying to forget the people she left behind; the world she left behind.All that while she deals with her new superpowers...





	1. Nightmares

Day 217. The job Winn got me is the most stressful thing I've ever done. Every day I try to integrate as much as possible into this world but sometimes it becomes difficult. Luckily I start to control my powers and I no longer live in fear of hurting someone. Glasses protect my identity and also my X-ray vision. 

“Mom!” Lar takes me out of my thoughts. He's becoming more and more like his father. 

“Tell me.” I reply, although I'm not paying much attention to it. 

“They're saying on TV that there's a big fire on the outskirts of the city. We could help them with our freezing breath.” 

“First, you can't go. You're six years old, Lar.” He pouts. “Plus, the firefighters are already helping and it is dangerous for us to show our powers.” 

“But you could help them and no one would get hurt.” He was stubborn, and I had to admit that he looked like me. Lar, who when he arrived was registered as Larry, a more common name in American society, was partly right and could be of great help to them. And probably no one would get hurt. At Argo we all worked in community and helped each other. But that was before what happened. And now I had a son and a lot of responsibilities to take care of and I couldn't risk my life. Suddenly they knock on the door and Lar leaps up to open. 

“Aunt Alex!” Lar always called her that because she was always there when we needed something. And when we don't too. The truth is, I considered her a sister. And not just for the fact that I adopted her last name when I arrived on Earth. 

“I hope you haven't started making dinner.” Alex lifted the bag from my favorite Chinese restaurant.

-Actually I haven't started and even if I had, it could be saved for another day. -I go to Alex and hug her. The three of us go to the table and then I go to the kitchen to get glasses and cutlery. We had dinner calmly and for a moment I forget everything that has happened in recent months. Alex suggests we go to the amusement park on the weekend, so Lar can do things that children his age normally do. I accept after Lar looks at me, or rather begs me with her gaze. 

Alex leaves after dinner because she's being called by the DEO for an emergency. We say goodbye and we'll meet for the weekend. 

After saying good night to Lar and leaving the little light on, I close the door of her room and go to mine. It's the worst time of the day. Nightmares come back. He's coming back. 

_Argo. 7 months ago__ 

“We should get up or Lar will come and then we won't do anything.” Kara said as she turned to look at him. 

“We don't work today; we can stay here all day.” Mon-El hugged Kara, partly to hold her so that she wouldn't get up. “Besides, it's been a while since we've spent time together.” He gave her a tender kiss on the head. The truth is that she could stay all morning like this, hugging her husband and not thinking about anything else. 

“Mommy, daddy!” They both raised their heads to see their son. “Grandma's here.” Kara and Mon-El looked at each other strangely, for it was not normal for Alura to visit them on a Sunday morning. They dressed quickly and went out into the living room, where Kara's mother was. 

“Hello mom, is something wrong?” Kara said directly because she knew something must be going on. She remembered it from when Krypton exploded.

“Lar darling, why don't you go play in your room?” Alura bent down to caress her grandson's cheek and he obeyed and left. Kara and Mon-El exchanged a worried look. Once Lar was far enough away, Alura spoke again. “I've just been notified that the nucleus that kept Argo active has deteriorated.” Kara and Mon-El opened their eyes wide. 

“How much do we have left?” asked the daxamite in a worried tone. 

“Hours, hopefully one day.” Alura tried not to sound too alarmist, but her voice failed to say that message. 

“We must prepare the evacuation protocol. . . Have you warned Kal?” 

“Kal's trying to help what he can in the control center.” His cousin had just turned 18 and was already proving capable of giving up everything to help others. 

“I should go with him and see if there's anything I can do.” Mon-El offered himself. He'd changed so much since she met him. “You go and activate the evacuation plan.”

“There's another problem. When we reduced the consumption of electricity for the preservation of Argo, the production of pods was stopped, so we don't have enough for all the inhabitants of the city." announced Alura. 

“How many people would be left without a pod?” Kara asked, waiting for the worst. 

“Bearing in mind that babies and toddlers can go in the capsule with an adult, we would be talking about approximately 100 people.” 

“And we don't have any exploration ships? It could hold up to 30 people at most.” He proposed the daxamite. 

“I hadn't thought of them, but three of the four we have are outside the city looking for provisions.” 

“If we have one, we'll bring it down to about 70 people.” Kara was thinking. “Would it give time to make different trips with the ship?” 

“What do you mean?” asked Mon-El.

“We have a list of the nearest planets. We could go from here to the nearest with the ship full to the max and leave them there. We go back and pick up another batch of people and so on until those 100 people are safe.” 

“It's a plan that could work.” Alura said. “We will leave for the latter those in the control center and members of the government. This way we will better manage the entire population.” 

“I'll take care of the exploration ship. You're in charge of managing the pods.” Suggested Mon-El. 

“And what should we do it with Lar” 

“He could come with me, and if I see there's something wrong, I'll leave him on the planet of destiny.” It wasn't the idea that Kara was most excited about, but it was the only way to try to keep her family together. 

That's what they did. Mon-El went with Lar to the hangar where the ship was. 

“See you later.” Mon-El told Kara before he left. Then they kissed. Kara, trying to hold back her tears, crouched down at her son's height and gave him a big hug and said goodbye, just in case. 

After announcing throughout the city what was going on, the evacuation plan was activated. People were worried because they had already experienced something similar the day Krypton exploded. They filled the pods in less than three hours. Meanwhile, Mon-El had already made two of the four planned trips. Good thing those ships were made with the latest technology and flew at unimaginable speeds. 

Alura, Kara and all the technical and government team waited for Mon-El to make the third trip. The ground moved noisily faster and faster, which began to worry those who were still on Argo. Mon-El arrived with the empty ship and opened the doors for the last travelers to pass through. Kara approached him and hugged him, because she was afraid she would never see him again. Mon-El received the hug and kissed her on the forehead. When they separated, they also entered the ship, since no one was left outside. There was Lar, who when she saw her mother jumped out of his seat and ran to her. Kara took him in her arms and kissed him on the cheek. 

Mon-El took command of the ship. In it, apart from the government and the scientists, there was also Kal, who looked out of the window, with a lost look. Kara approached his cousin to try to reassure him. 

“Hey.” Kal turned when he heard the greeting. 

“Hello.” The kryptonian saluted. 

“Everything's gonna be okay. We'll just have to get used to the customs of the planet we're going to.” 

“I know. It just makes me angry that it always happens to us.” Kara understood the frustration of the young man, she also thought the same. 

The journey to the nearest planet lasted approximately one hour, and without many complications. When they were all going to get off the ship, the radio went on and someone started talking. 

“Can anyone hear me? Hello?” Mon-El rushed to the radio and activated the option to speak. 

“Hi, I'm Mon-El. What's going on?” 

“I'm from exploration fleet I and we just got to Argo, well, what's left of Argo and our ship has broken down and we can't get out of here.” Everyone who stayed on the ship looked at each other, alarmed. Mon-El turned off the microphone so that he could discuss it with those present. 

“We can't leave them there.” Kal was the first to express his opinion. 

“But now it's too dangerous to go back to Argo.” Alura replied. 

“I agree with Kal. If those people had been someone of our family, we would have gone without thinking it twice. We can't leave them behind.” said Mon-El. He and Kal exchanged a look of approval. 

“Why don't you stay on this planet with Lar, Mom?” Kara suggested. The alluded, who came out of the bottom of the ship heard that last one. 

“I don't want to! I want to be with you!” And after those words he ran to hide.

“Lar!” Kara went out after him but the boy was good at hiding so it would be difficult for her to find him. 

“We'll all go.” Alura said. And that's what they did. The last members of the House of El went to the rescue of the Argo explorers. 

And that would be the end of it. 

_National City. Nowadays_ 

I wake up before the nightmare, or rather, the most painful memory of my life, ended. Partly better that way, I didn't want to relive it all over again like I did every night. 

I get out of bed and go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Without noticing it, I think of the outcome of that story. When would it stop being so painful? Probably never. I think about what Lar said to me that night. Perhaps I could honor them by saving the inhabitants of Earth. After all, they were the heroes of the inhabitants of Argo.

  
  



	2. Sacrifice

The alarm clock ringing on a Saturday is hard. But at least this time it was justified. I turn off the device before I wake up all National City and I get up without thinking it too much, so I wouldn't be tempted to go back to sleep. I take a quick shower and get dressed and then I go to the kitchen to start preparing breakfast. I let Lar sleep a little longer, for it was still early. Suddenly they knock on the door and I leave the cup of coffee on the counter for a moment. 

“Good morning, Alex.” I was meeting her to go to the amusement park.

“Hi. I brought some doughnuts for breakfast. -we hug. -Is Lar sleeping?” I nod. We walk the short distance to the kitchen. 

“I should go wake him up or we'll be late.” Before I go to my son's room, Alex stops me. 

“Can I go?” She offers. 

“All yours.” I tell her. I'm sure he'll listen to her more than he listens to me. Alex smiles at me and goes to Lar's room. I'll go on with breakfast. I make two coffees and milk with Lar's cereals. I take the box of Doughnuts and I take them to the table too. Minutes later Alex returns with Lar, apparently sleepy. 

“Good morning, Mommy.” Lar comes up to me and hugs me. I give him a kiss on the head. 

“Good morning.” I get up. “Breakfast is ready.” Lar goes to his chair and begins to eat cereal. 

The three of us have a quiet breakfast. Alex tells us that the amusement park is not far away and that Lar will be able to go as many rides as she wants. 

“But no superpowers.” I warn him. Lar nods. 

The journey in Alex's car is relatively short. Lar is getting more and more nervous since he's never been to an amusement park. Well, I've never been there either. As soon as we arrive, we buy the tickets and we enter the park. There we met Winn, who loved theme parks. Lar doesn't stop looking back and forth, and I see him happy and that makes me happy.

“I heard that that fairground attraction over there is very funny.” Alex points us out. It's a little train that goes up and down. The kids seem to love it so we get in the line. I get on with Lar and Alex and Winn sit together. The train starts and Lar doesn't stop laughing during the whole journey. That makes me start laughing, and it's been so long since I've laughed so I mentally thank Alex for having that idea. 

We spent the whole morning queuing and getting into a lot of attractions and Lar was having a great time. Well, actually, we were all having a great time. We have a little lunch break. After a little rest we decide to continue with our improvised plan of attractions. Winn sees his favorite attraction and I see it on his face he wants to go. 

“But Lar can't go up and today is a day for him.” He was justifying. 

“Why don't Lar and I go and get some cotton candy while you get on?” I suggest. 

“You go up with Winn and thus you try an attraction for adults.” Alex tells me and in the end it's what we do. Luckily at that time there wasn't much of a queue and we got into the attraction right away. 

“It's way different than what you've seen so far.” Winn was putting on the protective barrier. I mirror him trying to pretend it's not the first time I've done it. There is a countdown and then the attraction starts at an impressive speed, although I don't have much time to think because at the first turn, memories come back to me. 

__Argo. 7 months ago__ 

“I don't know if we'll make it to Argo!” Alura shouted. The turbulence had already made us take a few turns. Luckily Lar had reappeared from his hiding place and Kara was able to fasten him to a chair.

“We're almost there! Now we can't leave!” Mon-El was also screaming, because the sound of the impacts on the ship were too loud. Kara was already glimpsing what was left of her city. They landed as best they could next to the exploration ship. Four scouts awaited them there, one of them apparently wounded. 

“We thought you weren't coming. And, honestly, I would have understood. Thank you.” The commanding officer of the ship was the one who spoke. “Pollium was hit by a very sharp rock in the shoulder. He needs urgent medical assistance.” 

“For now we should get on the ship before this gets even worse.” Kal said. Everyone entered the ship and Mon-El began to maneuver his way out of Argo once and for all. 

They were about to leave when a small explosion caused damage to the ship. Sensors began to ring and Nelo, the officer of the exploration ship, took command. 

“It can still be saved, but it's going to be hard. You'd better put the boy in the emergency pod.” Nelo explained, referring to Lar. Kara and Mon-El looked at each other. 

“Lar is still a kid, so there's room for someone else. Kal, you should go with him.” Kara almost ordered him to. 

“I'm not leaving here!” The young man was too stubborn for these things. 

“You are still very young and have your life ahead of you. Please, just please.” Kara almost begged him. 

“Kara, I'll stay here until the end.” Kara knew she couldn't convince her cousin, and he was old enough to make his own decisions. 

“Mom, I need you to go with him.” Alura nodded and Kara turned to her son. What he didn't see was the look Mon-El and Alura exchanged. “Lar sweety, we have to go.” The boy surprisingly did not reject and they went all the way to the little shuttle where the pod was. Mon-El sat his son in the capsule and tried to put the safety harness on him. Alura was programming the ship.

“Kara, can you help me put the harness on him?” Asked the daxamite. Kara knew that in order to put the harness well, it had to be done from the inside, so she entered the pod and between the two of them they were able to fix the harness well. Just as Kara was about to get off to say goodbye to her son and mother, she heard a "clack". She instantly looked down at her harness. It was fastened. Kal had fastened it without her noticing. 

“No! No, no, no, no, this is not what we agreed on. Oh, Mom!” Kara looked frantically at every person in the room. 

“I'm sorry, Kara, but it's better if Lar grows up with her mother.” Said Alura, who was weeping. Kara had also started crying. Alura approached Kara and hugged her. Kara wanted to prolong the embrace but her mother moved away before it became even more difficult. Alura approached his grandson. -Lar, always remember that Grandma loves you very much. -The crying child nodded and Alura hugged him and kissed him on the head. 

Kal quickly bid them farewell, they embraced tightly, knowing what all that meant. Kal had ceded his safe harbor ticket to her, because the young man knew he would be more useful in trying to save the ship. 

“You're gonna be fine. In a safe place.” Mon-El paused. “We'll meet again soon.” The daxamite tried to say the whole sentence without his voice breaking, but he could not. Mon-El moved closer to Kara and gently grabbed her face. “Maybe we didn't get off on the right foot when we first met, but I don't regret a second I've spent next to you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. Don't ever forget that. I love you.” Mon-El went up to his wife and kissed her. The kiss tasted like salt from the tears that came from the couple. 

“I love you so much. Thank you for giving me the best gift anyone could ever give me.” She said referring to Lar. They kissed again.

“My sweet boy.” Mon-El went to his son. “Would you do me a favor?” Lar nodded. The daxamite took his ring off his finger. “Can you keep this for me? I'm afraid I'll lose it, and I know you'll know how to keep it.” He gave the ring to his son, and he held it well with his hand. “Always obey mommy and give her many kisses and hugs. You'll see that where you're going will be super cool and you'll make lots of friends!” He hugged his son and Kara could see the pain in his eyes. “I love you so much, Starlight.” He called him by the nickname he gave him when he was born. He kissed him on the forehead before standing up. 

“I love you, daddy.” Lar said to him with a smile. Another shake caused Alura to close the capsule and open the shuttle door, letting Kara and Lar out. Kara never looked back, but as she left Argo she heard a big explosion and she knew that this had indeed been the last time she had seen her family. 

__National City. Nowadays__ 

“Are you all right, Kara? Are you dizzy?” I hear Winn's voice and come back to reality. The attraction was over and we had to get out of the ride. 

“Yes, I'm fine. It's just that the attraction has reminded me of something.” Winn is not satisfied with my answer, but he doesn't want to force me to speak either. And I appreciate it. 

We gather with Alex and Lar, who had a huge cotton candy in his hands. They had just spent the afternoon quietly, and Kara forgot for a few hours about that memory.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say that this is the first time I teared up while writing so I hope I've been able to express the feelings I had in my head when I wrote this episode :) 
> 
> Ps: English is not my first language so I'm sorry for the mistakes I've probably made


End file.
